The Basic Biblical Principles for Marriage
1 Corinthians 7:1-5
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
Culture and the Bible
The Bible is filled with life-saving instructions to help believers navigate every area of their lives successfully. But the problem comes when we cherry-pick the ones that fit us and ignore the ones we do not like because it is contrary to our lifestyle.
Now on the issue of marriage, I do not claim to be an expert in this area because I have just been married for 7 years, and I do not have the experience, but there are principles in the word of God that I have been able to communicate with our people to help them with their marriages.
The first thing I want you to understand is, marriage is not a curse, but a blessing, and God’s holy institution which began in the garden of Eden, but marriage will become a curse when you are trying to manipulate your way around marriage, and not follow the principles laid in the Bible on how to run a home or marriage in the way God ordained it.
In this beautiful passage of the Scripture, Apostle Paul talks about the principles that can be used to operate our homes in a Godly manner so that we can enjoy the beauty and the blessing of marriage.
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1. Sex is beautiful in marriage
1 Corinthians 7:1-2
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
I believe that just as we have chaos in our world today when man and woman are leaving together without getting married to each other, it happened back in the time of the Bible, and there is a necessity for the issue to be addressed.
It is good for a man not to touch a woman, this is not a married man, but a single man who is not yet married, he is forbidden not to touch a woman at all until he gets married to that person. We see Apostle Paul supporting celibacy instead of marriage.
One of the lies among young people, if you love me, show it to me with sex. This is a lie, just because he has sex with you does not mean he loves you. People have sex with prostitutes, insane people, does it mean that they love them? No. And just because he does not demand the sex does not mean, he does not love you. If sex is all that you have to offer in a relationship, nothing more than that, then you are not going to have a lasting marriage.
The reason behind this instruction is because once you have sex, you want to keep on having sex, it is God who put that sexual desire in the body of a man and a woman.
So, therefore, God commands virginity in man and woman. It is so sad in the culture that we live in today, people disdain virginity, and purity, but then God commands it. I have seen pastors promoting sins in the pulpit, then telling their church members to keep on fornicating, it is not a big deal.
I believe that it is possible for a man to stay pure until he gets married, but fool yourself into thinking that nobody in our modern world can stay pure until they are married. That is a lie.
1 Corinthians 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
1 Corinthians 7:37-38 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.
So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
verse 2 tells us, “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”
Marriage prevents fornication in the society, and this is why, It is not a crime husband to enjoy sex with his partner, it is not a sin either. There are some “spiritual” Christians who think their partner demanding sex is not biblical, but I tell you that God ordains it, and blessed it in marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.
Many homes have collapsed as a result of a sexless relationship, and many people have gone outside into extramarital affairs as a result of their partner not fulfilling his duty to her. I received a phone call from one of our radio ministry listeners, and she was narrating how her husband has not touched her for about 6 months, and she is asking if it is a sin if she goes out to get herself satisfied, but I said unto, it is a sin, and God will be displeased with you. The two wrongs cannot make a right.
2. Marriage Must Be Filled with Kindness
1 Corinthians 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
In the context of this passage, the writer focuses on the sexual relationship between husband and wife, but in the home, husband and wife need more than sex, but there is a need for balance in every area of their marriages. And then the responsibility is a mutual one.
Why is this such an admonition? Sometimes, husbands can be very harsh to their wives, I think it is man’s nature, but that is not God’s.
One of the fruits of the Spirit is kindness, and if you are a spirit-filled husband or wife, you would consider giving away the kindness and love that your spouse deserves.
NOT AS PLEASING MEN
Proverbs 31:26 KJV
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
The word, “Due” carries the tone of an obligation of conjugal duty. This conjugal duty is a mutual responsibility in the marriage. A husband is owing to his wife’s kindness while the wife is owing to her husband’s kindness, therefore, both have a due to pay in order for a marriage to work out successfully.
This is why you must be willing to take care of your home by providing those things that are necessary for the family. You are to put the food on the table for your home.
Exodus 21:10 If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.
She is not to be fed, like a common slave, with a sufficiency of bread, vegetables, milk, etc., but with her customary supply of flesh, and other agreeable articles of food.
1Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
The Devil Called Preachers
3. Adultery Destroys the Beauty of Marriage.
It is sad that adultery and the playing of a harlot are common in many homes today.
1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
When you get married, it is not about your body, your choice, but our body our choice. Anything you do with your body negatively will affect the family.
When the husband goes outside to commit adultery, and he contracts diseases, he will bring to the family. Your friends may be doing it, your family may be encouraging you, but when it comes back home, you all will be running around like a wild horse.
Hebrews 13:4 KJV
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
4. Communication is Important in Marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
There are times when the Bible gives exceptions to a sexual relationship in marriage and that has be mutually agreed upon between husband and wife. Don’t start fasting without telling your partner about it.
Examples in the Bible
1. To the children of Israel
Exo 19:14 And Moses went down from the mount unto the people, and sanctified the people; and they washed their clothes.
Exodus 19:15 And he said unto the people, Be ready against the third day: come not at your wives.
2. Concerning David
1Samuel 21:4-5 And the priest answered David, and said, There is no common bread under mine hand, but there is hallowed bread; if the young men have kept themselves at least from women.
And David answered the priest, and said unto him, Of a truth, women have been kept from us about these three days since I came out, and the vessels of the young men are holy, and the bread is in a manner common, yea, though it were sanctified this day in the vessel.
There is a need for communication, and don’t let Satan destroy your home because of your inability to communicate with your partner.
5. There Must Be Self-Control in Marriage.
If a man does not have self-control now, he will never have self-control later. And that is why you need to be a spirit-filled husband to your wife and for your family.
“that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
incontinency- “want of self-restraint”
Satan is always on the look for homes and marriages to destroy. There must be self-control in your life over everything you do. That is why communication is important in the home.
The principles are there in the Bible to help us, are you going to apply these principles to your marriage?
Christians Response to Biblical Instruction